After reading that first entry, you may now be wondering why you're staring at the cover of my favourite LP. You may be wondering a lot of things, actaully... Things which aren't likely to pertain to my choice in topic progression -- but I digress! Hahaha. You're now staring at this particular image because I've had a sort of epiphany of late. An epiphany involving this band, and the effect they're likely to have upon a life-long fan, this Saturday evening. Before I dive right into the elaboration, though, I would ask that you bare with my seemingly random choice of topic structure. I'm aware that my writing style is less than perfect... and I'm aware that each paragraph will be on a completely different topic.. but I would ask that you bare with me! With a little bit of luck, and a whole lot of editting, I may just be able to piece together my own polluted stream of conciousness. And here it is..
I'm a bit like Edward Norton in the sense that I haven't slept in six months. It's mostly something that I've been able to come to terms with -- although I do drink more coffee than any human being should. It started as a few restless nights around September, at which point I was noticing a definite reduction in the quality and duration of my natural sleep. But has kind of culminated into 32hr periods of time which are completely and utterly void of sleep. Ignoring the obvious implications this has for my ability to function as a responsible and intelligent semi-adult, these periods of insomnia have somehow given me the most precious gift that I could ever have imagined.
They've given me the time to fully understand and appreciate the mind of James Christopher Adkins. A bit of a stretch, I know, but for a girl who requested a copy of "Clarity" for her 8th birthday.. it basically has taken 11 years to reach the point of love and appreciation that I'm just now experiencing. To the extent that an 8 year old is able.. I've always admired the intricate melodic layers and beautiful harmonies achieved by each Jimmy Eat World record. I've always understood that there was something to be said for Jim's melodic-minimalist approach, but have never been quite old or experienced enough to understand how each piece was perfect framed by his clever lyrics. I can't possibley know the exact motivations behind each song - I'm at best an amateur, amater health professional. But after years of intellectual and personal curiosty I am now able to view each album as a perfect representation of the emotional place that the man was in at the time of it's recording. On a personal level, I lean towards "Chase this Light" as the best representation for where I am in my current emotional reality.. but for the most part.. I am completely unable to choose a favourite track or favourite album.
With respect to my previous entry and the idea that a reader is able to absorb different messages from the same text throughout different phases of there life.. I too experience a change in what I want and need to learn from the person I admire most in this world. An obvious elaboration here, is that my favourite track changes with respect to what I'm experiencing across my day to day life. Not that it means much of anything at this point, but for those of you who are interested.. "Firefight", "Polaris" and "23" seem to be the three I keep circling back to.
Moving on though. The concert I've been waiting to see since I was 8 years old.. is actually set to occur this Saturday night. As if that wasn't enough to blow my cautious, tired, prone-to-emotional-overreaction mind, the concert is set to occur in one of the most intimate and amazing venues that I've ever had the fortune of visitinig. To thus recap; Jimmy Eat World, at the Brisbane Tivolli. It is of little wonder that the past week has been filled with less sleep than I've ever experienced. Hahaha. Being that I'm likely to have some kind of psychological overload/meltdown as a result, I thought it might be helpful to consult my textbooks for a solution.. and here's what I was able to come up with.
It is my very rough understanding of the works of Frued, that the human psyche is a finite resource. Not in the environmental sense where a resource may be renew or nonrenewable.. but more so in the sense that it is of limited capacity. In basic terms, there is a finite amount of psychological energy available to an individual at any given time.. and once that energy is exceeded.. the individual loses their ability to perform complex cognitive functions. I've also been able to learn, through my other courses, that events such as Planning, Judging, Analysing, Rememembering and Problem Solving are all examples of this "complex function" and have thus coined the following solution.
By spending the hours leading up to the concert engulfed in a complex literary piece, I may just be able to expend this limited capacity of cognitive energy. (Reading something full of dramatic imagery, and heavy symbollism for example.) Thus void of the natural resources I would use to stress and overanalyse the importance of my "Jimmy" experience, I may very well be forced to rely on a "back up" store of energy which is limited to that of basic emotion-driven functioning. "Basic emotion-driven functioning" may sound entirely more dangerous than my previous and initial state of being.. but after carefully considering the situation... I am fairly confident that my basic emotion would be that of Love. Not the type of love which drives particular females to be without clothing and self respect.. but more so the type of love which leaves the individual in a state of complete silent awe and grattitude. Pretty polluted, I know.. but.. at any rate, I'll need something to fill in my Saturday.. and the reading idea may become some type of self-fullfilling prophecy.
And thus to summarize, if you're fortunate enough to hold a ticket to the same event this weekend.....
I'll be the dark haired girl in the front of the line.. reciting and analysing seventeenth century love poetry in an attempt to hold it all together.
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